20 Years 4th of July

August mid 70's

Tempe, Arizona

January 12,1946-July 4,1989

Twenty years ago today my Dad passed away.

He was only 42.

Things had been touch and go for a long time,

Everytime the Doctors would tell us the end was near he'd come out of whatever it was and start demanding chicken pot pies again. When he was well enough to come home he told his Doctor he wanted to go on vacation,he wanted to go to Arizona. When the Dr. finally realized my dad would go to Arizona with or without his approval he gave in,on several conditions. The Dr. wanted to know where the hospital was,who would supply his oxygen (to this day I cannot look at someone with portable oxygen) and a whole list of other things that had to be in place before he could leave California. My mom drove the 2 of them to his sisters house. They say when he was getting out of the car,with the help of her neighbor he said he was home and never leaving,

Indians know when they are going to die and they go home

or so I have been told. It was a Wednesday. It was not going to be a good week. That Friday my cousin killed himself,but his wonderful Wife failed to tell my Aunt until after he was buried,despite the fact that they lived in the same county. July 2nd my dad got sick and was taken to the hospital. A couple things about my dad, He loved the 4th of July and Christmas. He loved Arizona although he was born and raised in California,his Father's roots were in Arizona. The hotter it was the better he liked it. It was around lunch time when he convinced my mom to go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

Evidently this was a code word for leave so that I can die.

She wasn't gone very long and she said when she walked onto the ICU floor all the rooms were dark.

Except for his. His room glowed with an aura of Angels. She said she knew then he had gone. He was facing Camelback Mountain with a smile on his face. He was at peace.

The thermometer read 125'

It's been 20 years ago today and he's missed so much. I wonder how hot it will be today?

When my time comes will I remember to go home?

I've held on to the grief and guilt of a childhood gone wrong. 20 years of, if I knew then what I know now. A lifetime of If's and Had I's. Two decades of,you only brought this on yourself.

We were not close and I wish I could change that. Every girl needs her Dad and some days I really need mine.

This week I will spend honoring him here,I hope you don't mind. I think 20 years is long enough to hold on to the past. This week I will let it all go.

If you still have your dad call him,hug him,visit him and tell him you love him. I wouldn't want you to be sitting here 20 years from now writing this same post.

Somewhere over the Rainbow daddy we will meet again

Artful Discovery's

Tortillons or Tortillas

This looks like a drawing instead of a photo doesn't it?

I don't know if I've ever shared this,but I have a very curious mind. I swear it must be a Gemini thing. I have to know how things work,why certain things do what they do,why when you drive through Corona and are in Green River that on top of that big ol' mountain is a house.

I mean why would somebody just plop a house there?

 Just stuff like that. 

To drive my family mad.

The latest thing to catch my attention are those cosas, things up above. I kept seeing them everywhere,including my grocery store,heck I even found one in the house. I just didn't know what they were for,aside of knowing they had to do something with drawing. 

It was a conspiracy! 

It had to be

Today I forgot to pack my favorite drawing pencil so I popped into my grocery store on the way to work and picked up a drawing set. Besides the pencils,graphite,

sandpaper stick and various other goodies

 those thing-a-ma-bibbers 

(my youngests word,he could never say thing-a-ma- bob)

were included. 

So I took them out and walked back to my Boss's Office and said

 "at the risk of sounding like a complete dork what are these things and what do you do with them?"

 Keep in mind that I work in an Art Gallery.

He says "I don't know,maybe they are shaders or something" 

So I headed back up front and pondered that thought. 

Guess What??

That is what they are for.

I went buck wild!

A mad drawing spree ensued!

The sides of my hands were black from the lead,but I didn't care. I found a new toy!

A brand new paper twisted  toy! 

So on the way home from work,I stopped at the

craft store and bought a whole package of

paper twisted new toys. 

I drove home thinking of all the things I would draw and shade

with my super-sized Newsprint Sketchpad.

Guess what else happened?

I got home

Sat down

Ate some dinner

Got on the computer

and decided I'm tired

I don't want to draw anymore.

Story of My Life!

If you look really close at the picture you can see the Lips I drew. 

My youngest is in California and I was drawing kisses then pic- texting them to him.

Yes,I know,I'm an absolute complete dork. BUT

a complete dork with brand new paper twisted new toys Who no longer wants to 

play with them.

Witches Night Out

They are very good at acting innocent. Dead unstuffed chicken? What Chicken? You can almost hear one of them whistling .

I'm sure you are wondering what "Witches Night Out" has to do with my beautiful Nieces. They are also my "Dogdaughters (my play on God Daughters) and since they are the only ones that make me a Tia (aunt) I try to spoil them when I see them. I live in Arizona and they are back home in Cali.

These two girls were adopted by my sister from the California Humane Society in Pasadena. I remember going with my sister to see and eventually pick up Crush (the one looking away). We had to take sister Jax to meet her to ensure their compatibility (I think this should be done with people too lol) Crush's story was a sad one that turned out happy. They are both the most lovable and mischeivious Girls. They have been known to swipe a whole platter of freshly grilled carne asada off the counter (before anyone got any I might add) and have taken and shared loves of bread and packages of tortillas. They have even dug under the fence and allowed the Poodles next door to come over for some (all while my sister was at work.) I tell my sister real kids act just as bad sometimes.

Now that I've given a brief run down of my girls I will share with you the reason for the Witches Night Out title. The WNO was created as a Meet up group and has evolved into a great Charity Event. WNO is going to be the Halloween Bash that ends all Bashes and all for a good cause. The proceeds of our labor of love will go to the Arizona Humane Society. I volunteered Reiki Sessions and my time for this great cause and in Honor of my Dogdaughters Jax and Crush,if it wasn't for the Humane Society they wouldn't be part of our familia.

I am Co-Chairing with the Brain and Queen behind the Witches Night Out, Rose Warner. The Event is her Brainchild. She is a lover of Animals and just an amazing woman. Besides being a wife,mother and a true Hermana,she also is the Owner of the coolest stores in Downtown Chandler called Artistic View. It's an Import store with treasures from far off lands and a good section of Dia de los Muertos goodies.

If you want to know more about the event you can click on the badge on the left or leave me a message.

Fly be Free

I'm sorry! I had such a kick back, relaxing, no stress, day watching movies that I forgot today is the day I promised to set Frida free. Chica Lola picked and drum roll please.... The Phi's mom, Punk Rock Mom of Punk Rock Parents gets to give Frida a new home.

Please email me so I can get all your info. The carrier pigeon gets upset when I get him lost.

I hope every one had a good weekend.

Thank you for your comments and for reading my Blog.

Medusa del Mar

Meet Medusa del Mar

She isn't one of the Filter Girls. I strayed. I'm sorry Filter Girls.

this is a close up.

She isn't finished yet. I have to do something about her arms,or lack there of. 

I just wanted to give you a sneak peak. 

What do you think of her?

She has a few Sisters in the works.

They're in the sketching phases.

Well,back to work.

Frida

I've decided she's done.

 Every time I tried to take her up a notch it didn't turn out,and I'd slather on some gesso and start over. She's very basic,but she needs to be free.The picture gives off a lot of glare and she's not that shiny in actuality. Frida is small (2"x4") and begging for a new home.

 Leave me a comment and my trusty assistant Lola, also known as my Chica Lola will choose a winner. You have until Sunday 

June 13th leave me a comment. 

             This is my chici chici Lola (pronounced sheeky) when she was a mere babe. She's ever so helpful in the Artful Chica Studio.

She wasn't quite 8 weeks when I got her,she's about 8 months old now.She looks like a mini deer and when she runs,she hops.

 We rescued her from a pen of evil siblings that made her cry. she was the runt and meant to be mine. 

Her name changed many times before we settled on Lola.

because what

 Lola wants, Lola gets! 

La Llorona

I've heard the names you call me.

People think I'm crazy, loca. They tell their Babies to stay away, to behave or else La Llorona,the Weeping Woman will get you. Stay away from the Water after dark because La Llorona wanders the shores looking for a baby to steal.

They have never asked for my side of the story, only believe what they've heard. I've been the poster child of "what not to do", a scapegoat,and some may even say a martyr.

Let me tell my side. Give me the same sympathetic ear you gave him.

Allow your heart to open and feel what I feel.

Yes, I was once painfully beautiful,and tragically naive. I thought beauty was all I would ever need to get by.

To achieve all that I wanted I only had to smile.

That's how things were when I was a child.

Everywhere I went things were handed to me,because

I was as pretty as an Angel.

Flawless.

I admit I was picky in choosing a husband,how could I not be. What would they say if I married a man only for his compassion,his loyalty ,his heart?

How was LOVE to fit in the scheme of things?

I married a man so handsome that Angels sang each time he took a breath. Nothing else about him mattered. The Towns people would stop and stare when He and I would walk down the street.

We heard their whispers and their jealous curses.

Why do they hate what they can't have?

That was then and this is now.

How was I to know beauty fades?

That,like the saying goes beauty is only skin deep. He left me for someone far more beautiful than I. It was the status of beauty he was looking for and

not my heart,my loyalty or my compassion

and sadly not love.

The tales are true.

I did drown my children.

I stuffed down

the emotion,the want,the need,and the desire so deep down inside me,

I forgot their existence.

These children were my own. They were my past,my present,my future.

I drowned them in the abyss of not being good enough,talented enough,or smart enough.

When I would tell him about my three children, he would laugh and call me crazy,

"tu eres loca"

he'd say as he'd grab his coat and walk out the door to see her.

I knew I wasn't crazy.

My children were beautiful,graceful and filled with passion.

They were called

Hopes,Dreams and Wishes.

Yes,they were mine and mine only. I tried to share them with the man of beauty,but he couldn't understand them,perhaps they frightened him.

I don't think he ever had children of his own.

I don't mean to frighten your Babies,but when I see them stare longingly into the sea it breaks my heart.

I want to warn them and,point out to them that there in their own reflection lay their children.

I want to whisper in their little ears that beauty is only temporary and your children are yours forever.